I know I'm a week late but it's been crazy this past week and I wanted to have enough time to really write about how Pride went.
IT WAS AMAZING!!
We marched with PFLAG Long Island (after some begging Sarah agreed to join me - worth it), and even though we had to wait over 2 hours before we got to march, it was such an amazing experience. The parents were excited, the kids who marched with us were excited, and the crowd was unbelievable. The love that we felt coming from the sidelines of the parade was nothing short of impressive. It was amazing to see all sorts of people turning up to show support, love, and camaraderie.
I wore a new tank-top that I bought from https://whattranslookslike.myshopify.com/ that says "This is What Trans Looks Like" and I got a bunch of compliments on it.
Something strange happened, however, and it's very interesting to me.
People were using female pronouns. At first I was confused, and a bit upset - and then it hit me. They assumed that I was born male. I was passing harder than any day of my life - at the pride parade - because people were trying to be supportive of someone who they knew was trans from the shirt, but assumed was trans female. Once that hit me I couldn't stop smiling about it.
Sarah wore a shirt that I bought for her that says "Hearts not Parts" with a rainbow heart on it. It's the cutest thing ever - Here's a picture
It was a long walk, and it was tiring, but it was worth it.
One of the best parts of the day was when we got back to our local train station, and a man saw us coming down the stairs, and tapped me on the shoulder - said "happy pride, guys" while smiling at us and then he head up the stairs to the train. It was so heartfelt, and genuine. We had been hearing the crowd cheer all day, and waving to us - which was great, but this was different. This was from one human to another, not for a crowd or waving a sign or for anyone else's sake. It was just for the sake of support and love.
Overall, it was a great day. Now Pride month is over and as fun as it was - it will be nice to have lazy weekends for a bit before Faire season.
Sunday, July 3, 2016
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Orlando... because I just needed to vent.
The Orlando massacre has hit me hard. Maybe it's because over the past year I've become more and more involved in the LGBTQ+ community.
I'm going to rant a bit here, and at NO POINT would I EVER discount the support from my friends that I had while I transitioned. I know that you were all (and still are) there for me, and that won't change.
However, I didn't do this with the help of other trans* persons. I didn't do this with a solid LGBTQ+ community at my back. I went to Pride For Youth once when I was probably 12 or 13 and never went back. At that time in my life, I was made to believe that what I was feeling was wrong, and I was going to hell for it - and I believed that enough to be afraid of what I knew to be true - I was attracted to women. I didn't have anyone that I could call at night when I was 11 years old and ready to end my own life. I had no friend that would walk across town for me to tell me it was going to be okay. I was alone. It was just me and my thoughts - which were never in my favor.
Most of my family was using drugs and alcohol for my entire life, my Mom (although not using drugs or booze) was working nights and told me that being suicidal was a part of growing up. So I dealt with it, because that's what I thought I was supposed to do. That everyone goes through it, and wants to end it, so I just have to toughen up and deal, right? So I did. I dealt. I've been dealing with it since I was 8 years old. I cleaned up beer cans, and bottles, and spilled munchies, and dog vomit because they wouldn't stop blowing pot smoke up his nose and giving him beer. I dealt with it when I was raped at 14, I dealt with it when 6 people from high school and my cousin all passed away when I was 17, and I dealt with it when my brother was found dead of a heroin overdose when I was 21.
I'm still dealing with shit, we all deal with shit, but now I'm part of something bigger than me, and I've gotten so involved in this community that now I know what it's like to feel loved by people I barely know. To catch eyes with someone across the room and feel like I know them, and we're already friends, already family. To hear parents pour their hearts out about how afraid they are for their LGBTQ+ child or children, or even other children. To see people blindly support each other no matter what, and have each other's backs, and hug and cry with strangers. This community is so beyond amazing that now I cannot imagine my life without it, and if anything I just want more of it. I can't get enough. They are some of the strongest, and most loving people I have ever met in my entire life - and they truly inspire everyone to just love each other. It sounds so gushy and sappy and I felt that way too, but it's so true.
We went to a vigil on Monday night for the victims of Orlando that was held at Pride for Youth. A lot of people went up and spoke, and it was amazing to feel all of the love and support in the room, and have some people who had never even come out to their families or friends but felt so strongly that they needed to be at this vigil.... some people even came out on stage as they spoke - it was so powerful. We spoke about how we feel, fear and anger taking up a lot of the conversation. Thankfully, however, the main point was love.
Honestly, I am angry, and scared, but mostly I'm just sad. I'm sad that this is the world that we live in. And that it takes the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. History for people to wake up and see that this is a problem. That people of the LGBTQ+ community worry about safety every single day.
You're worried about bathrooms? We're worried about walking down the street, going out to lunch, shopping in stores, things that other people take for granted EVERY SINGLE DAY. So let's not pretend this is something that it isn't. This is ignorance and hatred. It's fucking disgusting, and absolutely heartbreaking.
But we have to rise above the hatred, and help each other through this with support - and of course, with love.
I'll leave you with a quote:
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral,
begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy.
Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.
Through violence you may murder the liar,
but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth.
Through violence you may murder the hater,
but you do not murder hate.
In fact, violence merely increases hate.
So it goes.
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness:
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I'm going to rant a bit here, and at NO POINT would I EVER discount the support from my friends that I had while I transitioned. I know that you were all (and still are) there for me, and that won't change.
However, I didn't do this with the help of other trans* persons. I didn't do this with a solid LGBTQ+ community at my back. I went to Pride For Youth once when I was probably 12 or 13 and never went back. At that time in my life, I was made to believe that what I was feeling was wrong, and I was going to hell for it - and I believed that enough to be afraid of what I knew to be true - I was attracted to women. I didn't have anyone that I could call at night when I was 11 years old and ready to end my own life. I had no friend that would walk across town for me to tell me it was going to be okay. I was alone. It was just me and my thoughts - which were never in my favor.
Most of my family was using drugs and alcohol for my entire life, my Mom (although not using drugs or booze) was working nights and told me that being suicidal was a part of growing up. So I dealt with it, because that's what I thought I was supposed to do. That everyone goes through it, and wants to end it, so I just have to toughen up and deal, right? So I did. I dealt. I've been dealing with it since I was 8 years old. I cleaned up beer cans, and bottles, and spilled munchies, and dog vomit because they wouldn't stop blowing pot smoke up his nose and giving him beer. I dealt with it when I was raped at 14, I dealt with it when 6 people from high school and my cousin all passed away when I was 17, and I dealt with it when my brother was found dead of a heroin overdose when I was 21.
I'm still dealing with shit, we all deal with shit, but now I'm part of something bigger than me, and I've gotten so involved in this community that now I know what it's like to feel loved by people I barely know. To catch eyes with someone across the room and feel like I know them, and we're already friends, already family. To hear parents pour their hearts out about how afraid they are for their LGBTQ+ child or children, or even other children. To see people blindly support each other no matter what, and have each other's backs, and hug and cry with strangers. This community is so beyond amazing that now I cannot imagine my life without it, and if anything I just want more of it. I can't get enough. They are some of the strongest, and most loving people I have ever met in my entire life - and they truly inspire everyone to just love each other. It sounds so gushy and sappy and I felt that way too, but it's so true.
We went to a vigil on Monday night for the victims of Orlando that was held at Pride for Youth. A lot of people went up and spoke, and it was amazing to feel all of the love and support in the room, and have some people who had never even come out to their families or friends but felt so strongly that they needed to be at this vigil.... some people even came out on stage as they spoke - it was so powerful. We spoke about how we feel, fear and anger taking up a lot of the conversation. Thankfully, however, the main point was love.
Honestly, I am angry, and scared, but mostly I'm just sad. I'm sad that this is the world that we live in. And that it takes the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. History for people to wake up and see that this is a problem. That people of the LGBTQ+ community worry about safety every single day.
You're worried about bathrooms? We're worried about walking down the street, going out to lunch, shopping in stores, things that other people take for granted EVERY SINGLE DAY. So let's not pretend this is something that it isn't. This is ignorance and hatred. It's fucking disgusting, and absolutely heartbreaking.
But we have to rise above the hatred, and help each other through this with support - and of course, with love.
I'll leave you with a quote:
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral,
begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy.
Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.
Through violence you may murder the liar,
but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth.
Through violence you may murder the hater,
but you do not murder hate.
In fact, violence merely increases hate.
So it goes.
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness:
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Monday, May 30, 2016
First shirtless summer and running a support group!
Sorry I know it's been awhile, but....
Guys I'm so excited. I got to wear a tank top all day yesterday, and it was fantastic. I need more tank tops.
Tank tops are underrated. Granted, I could have probably found a tank top that I could have worn with my binder but it would have been obvious that I was wearing one and that was what I was trying to avoid. I hated my body the way that it was while I was binding, and any excuse to try to hide that I was wearing it helped me feel more comfortable. Some people who bind are comfortable wearing a tank top with it and play it off well. I was not one of those people.
It means a lot to know that I can just pull on a tank top and feel comfortable about my upper body. I still want to lose weight and gain more muscle, but that's always been something I wanted - even before my transition.
But - shirtless...
That I could NOT do before surgery. The idea that I can just wear a vest to the Renaissance Faire, or lay on the beach in nothing but shorts is so exciting. I'm going to need tons and tons of sunblock but it's going to be so worth it.
Can't wait for my first day at the beach!
Work is going great, and as of last week I'm in charge of the PFLAG support group called "Transparency" for parents and loved ones that have transgender family members or friends and need support. I've been at the meetings a bunch of times now and it's been amazing. Now since the person who was running it before now has more on their plate, it seems like I'm going to be in charge of it going forward.
Check out the PFLAG website for more information - and join the mailing list for updates on meetings as well as a piece I'll be writing called "Transgender Ear Bender" which is an extension of what I talk about on here. I believe it's going to be a monthly piece - so you should join the list to check it out!
As always - feel free to email me at akircheim@gmail.com if there's anything specific you'd like me to talk about or touch on here, and it would be great to know what people want to hear about for the monthly PFLAG piece.
Until next time!
Guys I'm so excited. I got to wear a tank top all day yesterday, and it was fantastic. I need more tank tops.
Tank tops are underrated. Granted, I could have probably found a tank top that I could have worn with my binder but it would have been obvious that I was wearing one and that was what I was trying to avoid. I hated my body the way that it was while I was binding, and any excuse to try to hide that I was wearing it helped me feel more comfortable. Some people who bind are comfortable wearing a tank top with it and play it off well. I was not one of those people.
It means a lot to know that I can just pull on a tank top and feel comfortable about my upper body. I still want to lose weight and gain more muscle, but that's always been something I wanted - even before my transition.
But - shirtless...
That I could NOT do before surgery. The idea that I can just wear a vest to the Renaissance Faire, or lay on the beach in nothing but shorts is so exciting. I'm going to need tons and tons of sunblock but it's going to be so worth it.
Can't wait for my first day at the beach!
Work is going great, and as of last week I'm in charge of the PFLAG support group called "Transparency" for parents and loved ones that have transgender family members or friends and need support. I've been at the meetings a bunch of times now and it's been amazing. Now since the person who was running it before now has more on their plate, it seems like I'm going to be in charge of it going forward.
Check out the PFLAG website for more information - and join the mailing list for updates on meetings as well as a piece I'll be writing called "Transgender Ear Bender" which is an extension of what I talk about on here. I believe it's going to be a monthly piece - so you should join the list to check it out!
As always - feel free to email me at akircheim@gmail.com if there's anything specific you'd like me to talk about or touch on here, and it would be great to know what people want to hear about for the monthly PFLAG piece.
Until next time!
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
What about everyone else?
Going through transition can be a very internal experience. To say the least, it is something that not everyone will understand. It tends to make people who transition very self-aware. I personally have learned over the past few years that I'm stronger than I believed I was, and I'm more than just another person walking down the street. I've learned who I really am, and it's comforting to know that I'm still learning. However, it makes me think about other people a lot, too. I often wonder what other people are doing. People I know well, people I knew a lifetime ago, as well as people I've never met and never will. Where are they right now? This very second? Where is that person in the car next to me going? How many years have that older couple been taking walks together?
I think about the world a lot.
Sometimes, the world really sucks.
Today is one of those days.
Any good vibes you can spare, send them my way - I know of a friend who needs them.
I think about the world a lot.
Sometimes, the world really sucks.
Today is one of those days.
Any good vibes you can spare, send them my way - I know of a friend who needs them.
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Expression at it's finest
Interestingly enough, there is something that I have heard more than once as of late - about people's first impressions of me (post-transition) and I find it extremely interesting.
It turns out that people who meet me without seeing (or my mentioning) Sarah, assume that I'm a gay man. On a certain level, it makes complete sense. There is something about me (my presentation and my expression) that people cannot put their finger on. Women feel strangely comfortable around me, and men... just don't get me. From a sociological standpoint, it's fascinating. I always knew that it was happening, but I couldn't truly explain it. I still can't say it exactly right, but a term that someone suggested is pretty damn close... they stated that it's most likely because I am "emotionally available". Men aren't the best at handling that type of feeling directed towards them, and women wonder if I'm gay because they sense that I'm not going to try and hit on them, and in no way am I a potential threat. Something women are constantly having to deal with - some men who are sexually driven assholes. I don't fit that mold, and it throws people off.
I love to see people struggle internally trying to figure out what category to put me in, and it's satisfying to know that some guys actually hate me for it. Without really knowing why they hate me (which is honestly the best part). I've had men ask me why I'm so comfortable around women, and I had to fight not to laugh. I answered "because I see them as no different than men, and I'm not thinking about what they look like naked when I talk to them". Which is what a lot of men do. Not all, I'm not generalizing here - but I'm probably one of the only guys in the bar not trying to hit on someone, and I think women sense that. Many times I have saved a woman from unwanted contact on a dance floor, while all of the other men in the room have no idea why that woman will stick with me the rest of the night - or even realize that she was uncomfortable on the dance floor in the first place.
Some men are so dumb.
Not to say I'm completely straight, because I'm not. I don't think I could form a sexual relationship with another man, but emotional connections can be just as strong (if not stronger) and it's not untrue to say that I could fall in love with another man. It just doesn't necessarily mean I want to get down and dirty with him. I have loved men before, and there are men that I love now. A fact which has no bearing on my loving and committed relationship with Sarah (and she knows that).
Maybe one of these days I'll let someone think that I'm gay for as long as I can, just so I can study their face when I finally break it to them that I've been in a relationship with a woman for almost eight years. Cruel? Probably. BUT IT'S FOR SCIENCE!!
* * *
Since it's been so long since I last posted, here's a simple recipe as a bonus:
Brown Sugar Cookies
2 Cups AP Flour
1 tsp baking soda
1.5 tsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp cinnamon (I also add a bit of nutmeg)
1/4 tsp Salt
3/4 cup butter
1.25 Cup DARK brown sugar
1 egg
2 tsp vanilla
Preheat oven to 325 F
Melt butter in saucepan (don't let it boil)
Add brown sugar to saucepan with butter and mix (whisking is better) until combined
Whisk in egg with brown sugar/butter mixture, then vanilla
Mix all dry in large bowl, whisking to get rid of flour lumps
Pour wet into dry and mix with wooden spoon until combined
Spoon onto parchment paper covered cookie sheets (they don't spread much during baking when using dark brown sugar, but using light brown sugar means they'll spread more on the pans)
Bake ~10 minutes until JUST golden brown
It turns out that people who meet me without seeing (or my mentioning) Sarah, assume that I'm a gay man. On a certain level, it makes complete sense. There is something about me (my presentation and my expression) that people cannot put their finger on. Women feel strangely comfortable around me, and men... just don't get me. From a sociological standpoint, it's fascinating. I always knew that it was happening, but I couldn't truly explain it. I still can't say it exactly right, but a term that someone suggested is pretty damn close... they stated that it's most likely because I am "emotionally available". Men aren't the best at handling that type of feeling directed towards them, and women wonder if I'm gay because they sense that I'm not going to try and hit on them, and in no way am I a potential threat. Something women are constantly having to deal with - some men who are sexually driven assholes. I don't fit that mold, and it throws people off.
I love to see people struggle internally trying to figure out what category to put me in, and it's satisfying to know that some guys actually hate me for it. Without really knowing why they hate me (which is honestly the best part). I've had men ask me why I'm so comfortable around women, and I had to fight not to laugh. I answered "because I see them as no different than men, and I'm not thinking about what they look like naked when I talk to them". Which is what a lot of men do. Not all, I'm not generalizing here - but I'm probably one of the only guys in the bar not trying to hit on someone, and I think women sense that. Many times I have saved a woman from unwanted contact on a dance floor, while all of the other men in the room have no idea why that woman will stick with me the rest of the night - or even realize that she was uncomfortable on the dance floor in the first place.
Some men are so dumb.
Not to say I'm completely straight, because I'm not. I don't think I could form a sexual relationship with another man, but emotional connections can be just as strong (if not stronger) and it's not untrue to say that I could fall in love with another man. It just doesn't necessarily mean I want to get down and dirty with him. I have loved men before, and there are men that I love now. A fact which has no bearing on my loving and committed relationship with Sarah (and she knows that).
Maybe one of these days I'll let someone think that I'm gay for as long as I can, just so I can study their face when I finally break it to them that I've been in a relationship with a woman for almost eight years. Cruel? Probably. BUT IT'S FOR SCIENCE!!
* * *
Since it's been so long since I last posted, here's a simple recipe as a bonus:
Brown Sugar Cookies
2 Cups AP Flour
1 tsp baking soda
1.5 tsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp cinnamon (I also add a bit of nutmeg)
1/4 tsp Salt
3/4 cup butter
1.25 Cup DARK brown sugar
1 egg
2 tsp vanilla
Preheat oven to 325 F
Melt butter in saucepan (don't let it boil)
Add brown sugar to saucepan with butter and mix (whisking is better) until combined
Whisk in egg with brown sugar/butter mixture, then vanilla
Mix all dry in large bowl, whisking to get rid of flour lumps
Pour wet into dry and mix with wooden spoon until combined
Spoon onto parchment paper covered cookie sheets (they don't spread much during baking when using dark brown sugar, but using light brown sugar means they'll spread more on the pans)
Bake ~10 minutes until JUST golden brown
Friday, February 12, 2016
Human Relations Day - Achievement Unlocked
Yesterday was Human Relations Day at Lynbrook High School, and I presented during six different class periods containing three to four classes per session. I'm sure I spoke to at least 100 students as well as their teachers and a few other staff members. It was such an amazing experience to go back to the high school that I graduated from and see how different the school environment has become. I'm not talking about the new TV screens in the Auditorium (but seriously those are pretty sweet), I'm talking about the kids. I'm talking about the presence of mature students that are willing to learn about those who are different than themselves.
I have many positive memories growing up in Lynbrook, but that doesn't mean it was always a very accepting and nurturing place for anyone outside the norm of 'plays sports and is religious in some way'. I am so proud that the community came together for our panel two weeks ago (Link: covered by, and on the front page of, our local newspaper), and that I was invited into the school to teach about the LGBTQ+ community as well as share my personal story. I was not only intrigued by the questions that followed my presentation, but happily surprised at how many kids said "thank you" either after the presentation itself or when they saw me in the hallways.
Later in the day, I encountered two students talking to a teacher about something from my presentation about transgender people and sex assigned at birth, and it was amazing to hear students talking about it. Many of them seemed genuinely interested, and to know that I got through to so many of them is such an incredible feeling.
A very heartfelt and special thank you goes out to Mary Kirby, Robyn Raleigh, and Laurie Mitchell at LHS for reaching out to me and allowing me to be involved with this marvelous program. Can't wait for next year!
I have many positive memories growing up in Lynbrook, but that doesn't mean it was always a very accepting and nurturing place for anyone outside the norm of 'plays sports and is religious in some way'. I am so proud that the community came together for our panel two weeks ago (Link: covered by, and on the front page of, our local newspaper), and that I was invited into the school to teach about the LGBTQ+ community as well as share my personal story. I was not only intrigued by the questions that followed my presentation, but happily surprised at how many kids said "thank you" either after the presentation itself or when they saw me in the hallways.
Later in the day, I encountered two students talking to a teacher about something from my presentation about transgender people and sex assigned at birth, and it was amazing to hear students talking about it. Many of them seemed genuinely interested, and to know that I got through to so many of them is such an incredible feeling.
A very heartfelt and special thank you goes out to Mary Kirby, Robyn Raleigh, and Laurie Mitchell at LHS for reaching out to me and allowing me to be involved with this marvelous program. Can't wait for next year!
Friday, January 29, 2016
Panel Success!
Wednesday night was amazing! Not only did a good amount of people show up, but it felt like people really wanted to be there - and for Lynbrook that's a huge step in the right direction. The questions seemed to flow nicely, everyone on the panel was respectful and although we went on for a bit longer than we had anticipated, it all worked out really well.
I'm so proud to be involved with this, and I really hope it catches on and maybe we can end up doing more of these. The kids were so excited to be able to sit up there and look out to parents and community members and teach them something. I'm sure many people got lost pretty quickly as we went through the LGBTQQIAA+ acronym and vocabulary, but there really wasn't a point where I felt like we completely lost the audience as a whole. Having the Rabbi and Deacon there I think was a fantastic benefit and really added something to the night. It was interesting and reassuring to hear them not only talk about religion in a positive light when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community, but to hear some personal stories and experiences from them I think truly got through to the attendees (Lynbrook is a pretty religious town as a whole).
I'm so thankful to have been apart of this whole process, and really want to thank the kids, Laurie, and Robyn for all of the work that they did to make this happen. It was such an inspiring experience.
I also got to meet and talk to someone at Pride for Youth and I'm hoping to get involved with them in some way. We'll see what happens.
I'm so proud to be involved with this, and I really hope it catches on and maybe we can end up doing more of these. The kids were so excited to be able to sit up there and look out to parents and community members and teach them something. I'm sure many people got lost pretty quickly as we went through the LGBTQQIAA+ acronym and vocabulary, but there really wasn't a point where I felt like we completely lost the audience as a whole. Having the Rabbi and Deacon there I think was a fantastic benefit and really added something to the night. It was interesting and reassuring to hear them not only talk about religion in a positive light when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community, but to hear some personal stories and experiences from them I think truly got through to the attendees (Lynbrook is a pretty religious town as a whole).
I'm so thankful to have been apart of this whole process, and really want to thank the kids, Laurie, and Robyn for all of the work that they did to make this happen. It was such an inspiring experience.
I also got to meet and talk to someone at Pride for Youth and I'm hoping to get involved with them in some way. We'll see what happens.
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
January 27th cannot come fast enough...
An event that has been 10 years in the making is finally happening, and I get to be a part of it. To say that I am excited does not do my feelings justice.
I am so proud of how far my hometown has come in the last 10 years. Not only do they have a fully functional and thriving GSA club (which we did NOT), they will now be hosting an event for the community based on LGBTQA+ issues and information. Myself, along with other individuals from the community (including parents, a Rabbi, a priest, and members of the GSA) will be conducting a panel not only to inform the community of LGBTQA+ matters but also to answer anonymous questions about these matters.
I am thrilled to be a part of this, and cannot wait to see where it goes and how it ripples out to not only Lynbrook but other towns as well. These kids are so inspiring and honestly much stronger and prouder than I was in high school. I admire their courage, and tenacity. They are so ready for the world to know who they are and to deal with it - ready or not.
It took a long time for me to feel the same way, and now I get to be that person that I needed when I was their age. I hope this is the first panel of many to come, and it will lead to bigger and better things.
"If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree." -Jim Rohn
I am so proud of how far my hometown has come in the last 10 years. Not only do they have a fully functional and thriving GSA club (which we did NOT), they will now be hosting an event for the community based on LGBTQA+ issues and information. Myself, along with other individuals from the community (including parents, a Rabbi, a priest, and members of the GSA) will be conducting a panel not only to inform the community of LGBTQA+ matters but also to answer anonymous questions about these matters.
I am thrilled to be a part of this, and cannot wait to see where it goes and how it ripples out to not only Lynbrook but other towns as well. These kids are so inspiring and honestly much stronger and prouder than I was in high school. I admire their courage, and tenacity. They are so ready for the world to know who they are and to deal with it - ready or not.
It took a long time for me to feel the same way, and now I get to be that person that I needed when I was their age. I hope this is the first panel of many to come, and it will lead to bigger and better things.
"If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree." -Jim Rohn
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Making my own path.
A few months ago I was invited to host a workshop at LICAC (a yearly conference for Guidance Counselors on Long Island) about my story and LGBTQ youth. It was a fantastic experience, and I got to share my story and teach others about pronouns, the need for school groups like GSA, and why gender neutral bathrooms should be in schools. I made business cards for the event, and handed them out at the end of the workshop.
Not only did people love my presentation, but I also heard stories about their schools and issues they are having with paperwork for college applications, etc. I even got a note from one woman thanking me for being brave enough to share my story, and that one of her children is gender non-conforming and of course she loves them and supports them and loves that things are changing for the better. That is the reason I do this. For people who need to know that they are not alone, and that their kids are going to be okay. That they can make it and have a normal life just like anyone else. I want to help create a world that is accepting and equal and supportive.
I'm now working on how to do more of these events, and even turn it into my career. There is something to be said when I don't get bored of something - and I continue to learn and grow and stay passionate about something. This is it right now in my life. I want to educate and fight for these kids who need a voice that can reach administration and boards of education and PTA meetings. They need someone to walk into a room full of school administrators and tell them what "gender non-conforming" or "transgender" means, and why it's important that they cater to these kids, and what they can do to help them feel comfortable and safe in schools, where they often spend more time than at home.
I have a few more events coming up, and I'm excited to see how much of an interest there is for information like this, although I've already had a few people tell me that I can turn this into a real job since my timing is right. Legislation was just enacted recently regarding transgender students, and schools (and parents I'm sure) have questions, some of them personal, and they need someone they can trust to answer honestly.
So I'm interested to see where this goes... I guess we'll find out.
Not only did people love my presentation, but I also heard stories about their schools and issues they are having with paperwork for college applications, etc. I even got a note from one woman thanking me for being brave enough to share my story, and that one of her children is gender non-conforming and of course she loves them and supports them and loves that things are changing for the better. That is the reason I do this. For people who need to know that they are not alone, and that their kids are going to be okay. That they can make it and have a normal life just like anyone else. I want to help create a world that is accepting and equal and supportive.
I'm now working on how to do more of these events, and even turn it into my career. There is something to be said when I don't get bored of something - and I continue to learn and grow and stay passionate about something. This is it right now in my life. I want to educate and fight for these kids who need a voice that can reach administration and boards of education and PTA meetings. They need someone to walk into a room full of school administrators and tell them what "gender non-conforming" or "transgender" means, and why it's important that they cater to these kids, and what they can do to help them feel comfortable and safe in schools, where they often spend more time than at home.
I have a few more events coming up, and I'm excited to see how much of an interest there is for information like this, although I've already had a few people tell me that I can turn this into a real job since my timing is right. Legislation was just enacted recently regarding transgender students, and schools (and parents I'm sure) have questions, some of them personal, and they need someone they can trust to answer honestly.
So I'm interested to see where this goes... I guess we'll find out.
Friday, August 14, 2015
Small victories.
There is something refreshing about NOT being recognized. Don't get me wrong, I never intend on keeping my identity, my life, and my journey a secret. But the look on people's faces when they don't recognize me, is priceless. I'm not making fun, I'm not judging or offended like "how could they not know it's me", I'm just excited to think that with technology and science at the levels that they are, it's possible.
Some trans* people are DESPERATE to pass. They want to change their body image, move far away, and never speak about their past life. And that's okay. If that is what will make them happy, then they should be able to go for it. And it's exciting that people have the opportunity to do that - very successfully. It's reassuring to know that it's an option at all.
I never take my passing for granted. Maybe it's because it's still new, but to this day I get excited when a stranger says 'sir', or if I get a head nod fro another guy. That's still exciting. Maybe it'll wear off, maybe not. But for now, I'll fucking take it as much as I can get it.
On a side note: I have rediscovered my love for TED talks. Here are some of my favorites.
I based my senior paper in high school on this
The octopus gets me every time
This will amaze me until the end of time
And last but NOT EVEN CLOSE to least...
the closest demonstration of how my brain works that has ever been recorded. (to my knowledge)
* * *
There are some days that I have at least a hundred ideas of something to write about. Or draw. Or create. And almost none of them last longer than a few seconds. I know that I should write them down more, just a quick note for later, but I never do. Maybe carrying around a backpack with a pad would help.... although it might seem rude mid conversation to stop talking, reach into my backpack, jot something down and then forget what we were talking about.....
Until next time!
Some trans* people are DESPERATE to pass. They want to change their body image, move far away, and never speak about their past life. And that's okay. If that is what will make them happy, then they should be able to go for it. And it's exciting that people have the opportunity to do that - very successfully. It's reassuring to know that it's an option at all.
I never take my passing for granted. Maybe it's because it's still new, but to this day I get excited when a stranger says 'sir', or if I get a head nod fro another guy. That's still exciting. Maybe it'll wear off, maybe not. But for now, I'll fucking take it as much as I can get it.
On a side note: I have rediscovered my love for TED talks. Here are some of my favorites.
I based my senior paper in high school on this
The octopus gets me every time
This will amaze me until the end of time
And last but NOT EVEN CLOSE to least...
the closest demonstration of how my brain works that has ever been recorded. (to my knowledge)
* * *
There are some days that I have at least a hundred ideas of something to write about. Or draw. Or create. And almost none of them last longer than a few seconds. I know that I should write them down more, just a quick note for later, but I never do. Maybe carrying around a backpack with a pad would help.... although it might seem rude mid conversation to stop talking, reach into my backpack, jot something down and then forget what we were talking about.....
Until next time!
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