Yes I have thought about this.

Why does everyone assume that taking hormones is a decision I have made overnight? Like one day I woke up and said, "I'm going to start hormones today" and then did it. As if this is not something that I have been thinking about for years now. As if I have not felt like a male stuck in this body forever. As if I'm acting on a whim. 

News flash. I know what the fuck I'm doing with my life. 

I emailed my grandfather and his lady friend, informing them of what is happening in my life. And of course, they're not supportive. But I think I would have rather them have said something alone the lines of, "we don't support this" and that be the end of it. But of course not, it can't be that easy. 

Please tell me how decisions I make now will affect the rest of my life, as if I don't know that. 
Please tell me that I may be discriminated against, or not welcome. 
Please tell me that I may be the object of "very mean jokes".

I am 23 years old. I am an adult. I have already been living my life. I have been discriminated against. I have been verbally abused, I have almost been physically assaulted because of who I am. Who I have always been. I have been the butt of many jokes that I have heard, and I'm sure multitudes more that I have not. And I have to live with that. I have to live every single day with people staring, judging, glaring at me. Every single day knowing that what people see is not how I feel inside. Every single day knowing that this is not what I want to look like, and almost every single person that I come in contact with will use the wrong pronoun, and the wrong name. 

Every. Single. Day.

So please do not try and tell me that my life will be hard. I think I know better than you do. 

As far as what people think of me: if they don't like me, that's fine. I couldn't care less. Because I have a great support system of friends and extended family members. I honestly do not care how society sees me. 

I will marry Sarah. And we will have children, and I will be "Daddy". I will never be Mommy. We will live wherever we want, have whatever jobs we want, and live happily as husband and wife.

And that is the thought that gets me through every single day of discrimination, jokes, looks, wrong pronouns, and judgement. The thought that I have Sarah. She loves me exactly the way that I am, and supports me in everything that I do. Just as I do for her. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how lucky I am, and grateful, and happy. I have never been so happy. 

That has to mean I'm doing something right, doesn't it?