Saturday, January 21, 2017

Missing Michael and Drump's First Day

I've been thinking about my brother Michael a lot lately... maybe it's because of all of the cool things that I've been experiencing and am excited for. Funnily enough, I'm not even talking about my wedding.

He would have been more excited than anyone I know about the Nintendo Switch. He'd already be talking shit to anyone who would listen about how he's going to destroy them in Mario Kart, especially since Battle Mode is back; or how he's going to get every star in Mario Odyssey before some people even own the game.

I think I miss him more now than I did a few years ago, and maybe deep down I knew that it would be this way, I just didn't know when it was going to hit. Well, it's hit. Maybe it's a worse because our birthdays are coming up, or new Nintendo games just make me think of him and I playing Super Mario in the basement until 3 am, or maybe it's just because I'm at such a comfortable place with myself and who I am as a trans man that my brain is finding something else to pick at...

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Karen got me a drawing tablet for Christmas - a Wacom Intuous - and it's probably one of the coolest things I've ever owned. I can't remember the last time I didn't want to go to sleep because it would mean that I'd have to stop playing with a new toy.

Right now I'm just finding other people's fan art that I'm tracing and coloring, just to practice using it and figure out more about drawing in general - but it's fantastic and if anyone is even slightly interested in digital art, get one. It's a lot of fun, and very easy to use - which is great for me because I'll be 97 in July (hehe) and technology and I are not great friends.

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I'm currently struggling with the idea of coming out to everyone at my job that I started in April of this past year. As much as I like blending, I want people to know and come to me and learn. I'm struggling between wanting to tell and educate everyone, and worrying that it will change any established dynamic on my team - because I love my team. We are doing well and I don't want to throw any kind of wrench into it that may cause a rift anywhere. Not to mention if we ever talk about politics in the office, which we don't, and I hope we continue not to....

Yesterday was the first day of the next four (hopefully only four and not eight) years.

Drumpf was sworn in, executive orders were signed, and riots ensued.

We're all going to have to be stronger than ever for this.... I hope we're ready.