Sunday, March 16, 2014

Through the eyes of a child...

Yesterday was moving day for two of our friends, and it was a long day but completely worth it. We got all of their stuff out and into the other house, thankfully we had a lot of hands - it made things a lot easier. I don't have many friends, and even those I do have there are an even smaller few that I would help ALL day to move and clean their new house. I love these people, not only because of how funny, and caring, and honest they are. But also because they support me hands down no matter what, and get as mad as I do when someone say the wrong name or the wrong pronoun. It's refreshing to have people that care about me like that, and will go out of their way to correct someone without me even having to say anything.

It took me a little while to get used to it, the true support and open trust. But it's nice now - it's comfortable. I wouldn't give it up for anything now that I have it. And I would do anything for them, just like I know they would for me.

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Today Dad and I went bowling with a family friend and her two kids. It was fun - but honestly lately I'm never sure how these things are going to turn out with my parents around. And the kids are amazing, I love them, and it's nice to see them getting so big. At one point, our friend asked how Sarah was, and I said good. Her daughter asked who Sarah was and when I said she was my girlfriend, I got a confused look and she asked, "your girlfriend?! Are you a boy?" I said yes, and she didn't believe me. So they both ran over to my father and asked if I was a boy or a girl, and when they came back - "Mr. K said you're a girl." And that was that.

So we finished the game, headed home, and I texted our friend saying that if she wanted me to talk to them at another time, I could. She said it was fine and she was talking to them about it - they seemed pretty unphased by it. Her son, the younger of the two, apparently asked: "Why does she wanna be a boy? So she can breakdance?"

The world is so different when we're children. Everything is so fluid, and although the world can be black and white, sometimes that can be an easy way to explain something. "She was born a girl, and now she's a boy." Done. Easy. And it seems like as long as you don't lie to a kid, they'll trust you. And the world for them is how we make it. If someone wants to be a boy, or a girl, it's okay if you tell them it is. And as long as you don't make a big deal out of it. they won't.

So now it's about the next time I see them, and what they say.

We'll just have to find out.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Effort matters, people. It doesn't take much.

So I know this is a bit late but I should probably talk about it now because it still makes me happy.

On Valentines Day Sarah and I stopped by my parent's house to say hello and because my dad said that he had something for us. So we get there and before my dad can give us what he has for us he tells us to look at this book that Stephanie had made for my brother, we "have to read it go read it, its really good", he says. It was cute, it was full of pictures of them and how they met and where they went and things that they did. And then at the end it talked about my parents and myself, a brother named "Aidan".

Now, keep in mind that this is the first person living in that household that has called me Aidan. I was glad that it was just me and Sarah left by the end of the book because I could not stop smiling like an idiot. Then he gave us the candy he bought for us and a card for me that said 'Aileen' on the envelope. To my surprise, however, the inside of the card said 'Dear A,' and went on to say that I am a great child and friend and did not use any pronouns or use the word daughter. Needless to say, I was pretty happy about that.

Then, the other night, Sharon came over after they had a quilt meeting and gave me my birthday present I hadn't gotten from her yet. It was a card, and the front of the envelope said Aidan. It was a Marvel superheroes card, which goes to show that she knows me and what I like. =D So that also felt pretty great. Then, Sarah and I are talking the next day and she says that Sharon was calling me 'Aidan' the other day and used male pronouns.

So, things are looking up. my mother is trying, which doesn't go unnoticed, but it's still kind of feels like too little too late. But I left a book and a pamphlet for them to read about transgender kids, parents, friends, etc. So hopefully my parents have been going over it.

Only time will tell, and I'm trying not to get my hopes up.