Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Roots.

Sometimes Lynbrook is enough for me. And I can imagine truly building a life here.

Sometimes.

However, most of the time it's not where I see myself in five years. I want room. And mountains. I want to be more than a hundred feet from my neighbors. I want a riding lawn mower to be necessary, with long sunsets and mild winters and horses within a ten minute drive from my house so I can ride again. And cowboy hats, and boots, and half chaps.

I want to see stars at night. And fireflies pulsing in July as far as you can see like one big radioactive cloth draped over the fields. Early mornings and cool nights on a front porch. A general store.

Let's be honest. I love what most people deem as "crappy" weather, too. I could be happy somewhere that it rains most of the year, or is defined as "gloomy".

But the idea of living where I've been my whole life so far seems pretty boring. If I'm bored now, I can't imagine how I'll feel in 10 years.

So to sum it all up, I don't think I want to live in NY.

Is this state a HUGE part of my life? Of course it is. I've spent what could be called a quarter of my life here. I was raised here, I love it here. But some days I want more. More than traffic and flat land and cookie cutter houses. It seems that the more time goes by the more of those days I'm having.

I miss Colorado.