POST SURGERY! The best kind of pain.

Of course I feel different, excited, free, and full of anticipation of what my chest is ACTUALLY going to look like in a few months. Right now it's just bound up like any other day just like the past four years so it hasn't truly hit me yet. Although those few minutes a day that I can take off the binders and let my body chill and breathe are pretty exciting.

My tits are gone.

Holy shit.

Some minuscule part of me is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Just because that's always how it's been for me. Something great happens - and then - the world says 'oh wait just kidding here's something to wipe you off solid ground and fuck with all your happy shit'. Logically, I know that my chest will never be the way it was. I just function better under pressure and anxiety - so now that the main cause of my anxiety since 2011 is gone, it's like my body doesn't know what it's supposed to be doing.

Don't worry, the excitement wipes all of this off the table. I just have to re-learn how to adjust to this new level of (lack of, honestly) anxiety.

So, who's hitting the beach with me this summer? ;-)

Realistic Goal:




 (who's bringing the whip and cherries? :-P )

Because, let's be serious, no one but movie stars and personal trainers have 5 hours a day (and the willpower to eat chicken and rice and beans 4x a day and a protein shake for dessert) to work out to look like this:




Seriously, I'm excited to do push ups without tits in my face. Well, my OWN tits anyway.

Running is going to be so different.
Swimming is going to be so different.
Summer is going to be so different. (and so much cooler without so many layers)
Changing in the men's locker room at the gym is going to be so different. 
Everything is going to be so different.
Fuck this is really exciting, you guys. 

Here's to a quick and healthy recovery! :-)